Penny-Lane Kutylowski (2004

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This memorial website was created in the memory of our much loved daughter, Penny-Lane Kutylowski who was born in Australia on 8th September 2004 and died on 6th September 2004 at 40 weeks (full term). We will miss her dearly forever and a day.

those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief

turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe

will never know the source from which we drink,
the secret water, cold and clear,

nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for something else.

david whyte

Tributes and Condolences

Let Love Heal Your Soul / Jean Cumings (Grandmother)
It happens.
The unimaginable is now reality.
Grief grabs you by the throat and squeezes
Until you can't breathe and tears threaten to drown you.
Pain tears at the center of your soul.
Rage replaces reason.
Sadness overwhelms a...

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the well of grief / Lyss (mother)
those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief

turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe

will never know the source from which we drink
the secret water...

Continue >>

Where are you all? / Cherie Bish
dear penny lane i just needed to write and ask you are you there with my baby? he has gone too to your world your universe. although its unreachable what makes it worse is the constant never knowing always guessing how would you be growin...

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:( / Lyss Evans (mum)
i will love your dear daddy forever and a day. he's an amazing man and he would have been the best father to you, we could have been a beautiful family. i'll always be so sad and so sorry things didn't work out for us as a little family. i'll never u...

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So sorry / Holley G.
Alyssa, I'm so sorry for your loss of Penny-Lane. I'm also sorry so many people have hurt you and made you feel as if you have to keep quiet about your pain. There's a wonderful blog called Bring the Rain (http://audreycaroline.blogspot...

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from Snowy / Julia Schneemann (friend from Birth )

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Thank you for your website. / Paula Withall (nil.)

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may her memory never fade / Lisa Whitlock (Alyssa's friend )

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Thinking of you Alyssa / Vanessa

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Loving Penny-Lane / Sandra (Grandma)

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birth.com.au message boards / Alyssa

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at the baseball / Alyssa

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chain of comfort / Selma Flynn

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Dear Aylssa, / Karla Paff (Alyssa's Old Friend )

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Your little butterfly / Penni Guerrero

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More tributes and condolences...

Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences

Her legacy

dear penny- approaching your 7th birthday,
what an impact your death has had on my life. my mind boggles at the myriad of things that could have been very very different. here i am now with the love of my life- my dearest darling townesy. i love him so incredibly so that i struggle to imagine a greater love. but then i remember the pain of your death and i remember that i loved you this much too. i think i loved you instantly this much and as a terrible subconscious self-preservation tactic i only let townesy creep into my heart slowly once he had earned my trust and proved to me that he wasn't going to suddenly die and leave me in that terrible place like you did. horrible really. i hope he can understand one day that i love him twice as much- he gets your love and his own. i couldn't possibly love him more than i do. i feel an ache in every milimetre of my body for him. so i would have had an about-to-turn-7 year old little girl- dressed in vintage inspired clothes with bangs that got in her big brown eyes and little knobbly knees, probably a slight hoarding problem and mostly likely a thing for dancing. it's hard to imagine. and townesy would be a little brother. the thought makes tears cloud my eyes and my throat and chest and legs ache in that old familiar way. i used to be so angry and bitter and resentful. but i'm not anymore. and i was disappointed for such a long time. i used to be so sad but that's not really what it is anymore. now it's almost impossible to label the feeling. it's a kind of sadness but it rarely knocks me to the floor as it did. and then there was those years when i was a wreck swinging wildly between complete denial and reinvention and wallowing in reluctant acceptance, drinking and torturous replaying of events. 7 years; it's an incredibly long time and i struggle to get my head around the concept. i was told two stirling pieces of advice that i noted and promptly ignored even though they turned out to be spot on; 1) it will take about 5 years to be okay with this and move on with life in a normal fashion so don't expect too much before then 2) have another baby ASAP although it will be terrifying it is the one and only thing that will heal you in ways that time cannot. my darling townesy has healed so much in my life but he also unfortunately receives the anxieties that are the legacy of your death, like: checking constantly that he's still alive. preparing myself for the worst before entering a room. being a bit over the top about things. loving him probably a bit too intensely... my dearest penny-lane. my little girl. i do love you forever. i wish i could hold your little apple cheeks cupped in my hands and kiss your sweet little nose. and ask you what colour icing you would like on your 7th birthday cake. xoxoxo

obituary
http://concordmonitor.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040925/REPOSITORY/409250355/1006/COMMUNITY02

Penny-Lane's Photo Album

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Bring the memories home by publishing your online memorial as a genuine hardcover keepsake

This memorial website was created by Alyssa Evans on 11/10/2004.
click here to contact Alyssa

Sponsorship

The hosting of this website is sponsored by Jean and Tom Cumings

Audio & Video

	penny lane
	(Click to play)
	aqueous transmission
	(Click to play)
Click here for more audio and video

Memorial Candles

	Vanessa C. lit a candle on 12/05/2011: "thinking sadly of life's twists and turns. Penny-Lane will never be forgotten by me, Alyssa. xxxx"

	KatieC lit a candle on 12/03/2011: "I still think of you often beatiful little girl. xo"

	Nat Douglas lit a candle on 09/07/2011: "Hi there beautiful girl, 7yrs later i still about of u often. ur mumma is amazing hope u are as proud of her as i am. xo"

	Grandma Sandra lit a candle on 09/06/2011: "7 years have gone by since we lost you, never ever forgotten little angel loving you always and ever xxx"

	Jean Cumings lit a candle on 09/05/2011: "Tears still flow like a river, but they get swallowed in the sea of life. And that is probably a good thing."

	Elaine Scherer lit a candle on 09/04/2011: "Mom to BrittanyTillman, beautiful baby girl Penny Lane.. such a beautiful angel in God's garden..love to you"

	Grandma Sandra lit a candle on 12/23/2010: "Thinking of you at Christmas PennyLane & missing you. Always in my thoughts every day and loved so very much xxxxxx"

	Jean Cumings lit a candle on 10/15/2010: "A candle in memory of you, Penny Lane, and in celebration of your new baby brother."

	Jean Cumings lit a candle on 10/06/2010: "just missing you all"

	Emma Drew lit a candle on 10/01/2010: "In loving memory of Penny-Lane.Thinking of u & Sending sunshine for your mummy's darkest days & love to heal her heart,x"

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